


It's Polite to Bring KFC as an Apology for Trying to Murder Your Hosts on Christmas

by dearfriendicanfly



Category: Gintama
Genre: BUT I REMEMBERED U SAYING TAKASUGI TAKIN CARE OF YOROZUYA KIDDOS WAS UR JAM, Babysitting, Families of Choice, Gen, I DIDNT KNOW WHAT YOUR DAD AU WAS AND KNEW ID GIVE IT AWAY IF I ASKED, M/M, MERRY CHRISTMAS HEELY, SO I HOPE THIS IS GOOD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-01
Updated: 2017-01-01
Packaged: 2018-09-13 12:06:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9122893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dearfriendicanfly/pseuds/dearfriendicanfly
Summary: For the first time in a long time, Takasugi Shinsuke isn't spending Christmas alone. He really wishes that he were.(That's what he tells himself, anyway.)





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Heely](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Heely).



Takasugi Shinsuke doesn't _do_ Christmas. It's been a long time since he really celebrated _anything_ , come to think of it. One would be pressed to find a single person who would describe Takasugi as jolly, or festive, or even particularly cheerful. And even within the Kiheitai, when you're trying to topple an entire civilization, holiday-themed office parties are kind of at the bottom of the agenda. 

So for the last decade or so, Takasugi has ignored the holidays, and for the most part, the holidays have obliged him in kind.

This Christmas, Takasugi has no choice in the matter.

 _Well_ , he thinks sourly as Kagura nearly flings herself at him and the bucket of KFC in his arms, _he had a choice up until he made the stupid ass decision to pay Gintoki a visit._

"Are you God?" Kagura asks in awe, drooling a bit as she inhales the deliciously greasy scent of Kentucky Fried Chicken.

"Paws off," Takasugi says flatly, lifting the bucket out of her reach. "Gintoki's told me about you, you know. You just keep your distance until I've dished out everyone's plates, miss Nabe Shogun."

Kagura's eyes narrow dangerously and she huffs, crossing her arms. "You are really getting into the Christmas spirit, no?"

"No."

Kagura rolls her eyes and plops down at the table, grumbling under her breath.

Shinpachi nudges her on his way past scolding her lightly, "It's Christmas, Kagura-chan, don't sulk." She kicks him in the shin in response.

"Thanks for the dinner, Takasugi-san," Shinpachi hisses through gritted teeth, nursing his shin and glaring at Kagura as he sets the table. "It's been... well, I don't think we've ever really had a proper Christmas dinner."

 _I don't know if you can really call KFC proper_ , Takasugi thinks, but he simply says, "Don't mention it."

The silence is almost palpable as Takasugi dishes out servings for the three - no, make that four, because Gintoki's gigantic and notoriously toothy dog is eyeing Takasugi a little too intensely for his liking - of them. It occurs to Takasugi that this is the first time he's been around the kids without Gintoki, and everyone's discomfort is more than obvious. Shinpachi visibly squirms, and even Kagura seems to be picking at her food a little, something Takasugi didn't imagine to be possible from Gintoki's complaints of the bottomless stomach eating him out of house and home.

Unsurprisingly, sharing Christmas dinner with someone who tried to kill you is really fucking awkward.

The feeling is mutual, Takasugi finds, grimacing slightly as he picks at his chicken. Children were never really his area of expertise, including when _he_ was a child.

_What the hell do kids even do these days? What do they talk about?_

"So..." Takasugi starts, clearing his throat lightly, "have you guys... uh... been good this year?"

If secondhand embarrassment could kill a man, Shinpachi looks like he's about to keel over. But he forces a smile and says, "Well, I've mostly been working on refurbishing my family's dojo."

"Oh?" Takasugi breathes like a man resuscitated. _Swordsmanship. Fuck yeah. I can do that._ "Are you running it by yourself?"

"My sister and I run it," Shinpachi explains, warming up somewhat. "And Gin-san and some of our other neighbors are... _kind_ enough to help out as guest instructors sometimes." A vein pops in his temple. "I guess I can't really complain about them not taking it seriously, since they're volunteers." 

"That's right," Kagura manages through a mouthful of food. "It's volunteers like us who will be rewarded for our good work with presents from the Colonel tonight, yes?"

Takasugi frowns. "The Colonel...?"

"Mmhmm," Kagura nods sagely. "On Christmas Eve, Colonel Sanders rewards all the good boys and girls with a year's supply of chicken."

Takasugi momentarily panics. _Holy shit, how long has it been since I celebrated Christmas?_

Shinpachi snorts. "Kagura-chan, you know that isn't true."

"That's exactly why you won't get any chicken this year, no?" Kagura says solemnly. "The Colonel will forsake the nonbelievers and reward the faithful."

"Okay, _now_ you sound like a cult leader." Shinpachi rolls his eyes and turns back to Takasugi, desperate to change the subject. "So," he coughs, "I'm guessing you came to see Gin-san?"

Takasugi swallows a mouthful of potatoes and nods. "I figured the office would be closed today."

"Normally it would be," Shinpachi admits, "but this year..." He lets the sentence trail, but given Gintoki's absence and the meager dinner the two of them had been nursing when Takasugi dropped by, he figures he can guess the rest.

"Anyway," Shinpachi continues, clearing his throat slightly, "sorry Gin-san wasn't here to greet you, but you're... uh... you're free to stay here as long as you'd like! He's away on a job right now, but he'll be back soon." He glances at the door as if to say, _God, I hope so, anyway_.

"Gin-chan will probably come back tomorrow, drunk like a fish," Kagura pouts, resting her head in her arms atop the table. "The Colonel will leave him a wilted Caesar salad."

"He'll be back tonight," Shinpachi says, gentle but firm. "Let's just enjoy our dinner until then."

Takasugi eyes the two of them closely, his brow furrowed. _They love him_ , he thinks, and the thought is strange somehow. His stomach turns and he stares at his chicken, expression clouded.

Shinpachi clears the table, maybe just to make some noise and alleviate the silence, and takes the dishes to wash in the kitchen. At the table, Kagura stares at Takasugi from the corner of her eye, chewing her lip thoughtfully.

Takasugi ignores her for a while, but finally he lets out a long breath and turns to her. "Have I got something on my face?" he asks drily.

Kagura shakes her head slowly, unfazed. She stares at him for a moment longer, apparently contemplating her words carefully. "You are Gin-chan's family, yes?" she asks, out of the blue.

Takasugi blinks, at a loss. "I'm... no," he says gruffly, his brow knitting. He turns back to his food, trying firmly to end the conversation. But Kagura doesn't look away, resting her chin in her hand. Another long breath. "...I was once."

Kagura nods, finally looking away with a yawn. "Then you do not have to be so stiff here. KFC is a good enough apology, no?"

Takasugi's chest tightens as this girl who faced him on the battlefield munches on a chicken bone and trusts him with her back, humming a Christmas carol under her breath. He is quiet as Shinpachi comes back and tries to throw away the chicken bucket, only to have Kagura fight him tooth and nail over it so that she can leave it in the window for the Colonel. As the two of them argue over which is more ridiculous, a sleigh flown by flightless chickens or doubly flightless reindeer, Takasugi decides that children are fucking exhausting.

He smiles.

 

* * *

 

Takasugi watches the snow drift silently past the office window, his chest heavy. Beside him on the couch, Shinpachi lays with his feet dangling over the armrest, Kagura splayed on top of him, snoring loudly. 

There's some old Christmas movie flickering across the television screen in front of them, the volume turned down to a low murmur so as not to disturb the kids. Takasugi hears it like a dull roar in the back of his mind and tunes it out. He wishes he could tune it all out - the kids' soft snoring beside him, Sadaharu's tail thumping the ground gently at his feet, the lead weight settling into his chest. The sensation of proximity creeps along his skin, raising the hairs on the back of his neck.

Takasugi isn't used to being stationary. He's spent the last decade navigating the seas and the stars, constantly in motion whether he liked it or not. If his experiences have taught him anything, it's that any time he's ever stood on what felt like solid ground, it's always caved in beneath his feet.

Tonight, for the first time in a long time, he considers that he might have a firm foundation to build something new upon. And that is frightening.

The office door rattles and slides open with a burst of cold air and the sound of stomping feet, and Gintoki enters the room, almost unrecognizable under a good three or four layers except for a shock of unruly white hair sticking out from beneath his hat. "I'm h-" he starts, but stops short when he catches sight of Takasugi, who presses a finger to his lips and gestures to the sleeping pair beside him. Gintoki's surprise turns to bewildered amusement at the domestic scene as he takes off his coat and eyes Takasugi questioningly.

"The hell are you doing here?" Gintoki mouths, but the words come without heat.

Takasugi shrugs and rubs his eyes wearily. "Fuck if I know."

Gin raises an eyebrow, but doesn't push the question any further. He tosses his coat to the floor and makes his way to the couch, his shoulders sinking with exhaustion. "Don't get up, you three've got the right idea," he grunts, sitting down gingerly between Takasugi and the kids, careful not to wake them. Kagura lets out a complaining groan and rolls over, now splayed across Gintoki's lap, nearly kicking Shinpachi in the face. The little pile squirms around until they've found some slightly more comfortable arrangement and Gin rolls his eyes exasperatedly, resigned to his fate.

Takasugi pulls a face. "Jesus, you smell like a barn."

"That's probably because I just got done building a barn."

Takasugi raises an eyebrow. "Since when are you a carpenter?"

"I'm a jack of all trades, dumbass, it's on the sign." His hand wanders to Kagura's hair, brushing a bright red strand from her eyes, and the tenderness of this gesture takes Takasugi aback somehow. Until now, the Yorozuya seemed like some bizarre game of house, but seeing Gintoki in his place alongside them makes it more real, somehow. Something fills Takasugi's chest, hot and suffocating, and he looks back to the window.

"So what are you doing in Kabukicho?" Gin asks, sinking back comfortably into the couch with a yawn. "I take it a stick in the mud like you isn't here for the night life."

Takasugi rolls his eyes. "Fuck off," he mumbles. "I just stopped by to give the season's greetings." He gestures to a bottle of sake on the table across from them.

Gin snorts. "Now there's your holiday spirit." He tries to sit up to pour himself a drink, but Kagura protests sleepily and rolls over again so that she's flopped on her back over his lap, her arms dangling over the side of the couch. Gin clicks his tongue and looks pointedly at Takasugi who bites back a smile in spite of himself and pours them the drinks himself.

"Season's greetings," Gin sighs, knocking back his drink with a satisfied grunt. Takasugi follows suit, feeling the warmth slowly spreading from the pit of his stomach to the tips of his fingers.

For a while, they sit in warm, comfortable silence, broken only by the kids' (not so) quiet snoring and the occasional whine from Sadaharu, who has now curled up at Gin's feet. The surrealism of it all isn't lost on Takasugi; the realization that he and Gintoki both have futures – _real futures_ – hits him in waves. The realization that those futures might not be entirely separate is one that still hasn't settled in yet. 

"You know," Gin says suddenly, "I never really got the idea of having relatives over for the holidays."

Takasugi frowns. "The fuck are you talking about?"

"It's just stupid," Gintoki continues, ignoring him and lodging a finger comfortably in his nose. "If I wanted to see someone once a year to make pointless small talk, pretend to care, and then forget anything they told me for the rest of the year, I'd go see my dentist."

"You're supposed to see a dentist twice a year."

"Relatives are supposed to shack up at your place without warning and eat you out of house and home, or teach your kids to say rude words, or show up to events uninvited and expect free food. That kind of shit. They get free passes for being assholes." Gin glances at Takasugi briefly. "So they don't have to get shy about it, either."

Takasugi stares for a moment, at a loss, then turns back to the window, turning red. "Quit spouting bullshit," he murmurs.

Gin shrugs, finishing off his glass. "I'm just saying, you don't need the holidays as a shitty excuse to-"

"It's not that simple."

Gin's expression slowly clouds, and he turns to face the tearful, happy family flashing across the television screen. "Yeah," he says quietly, "I know."

The silence is heavier this time, and Takasugi doesn't turn back around to face Gintoki until he can hear his breathing gradually become even and slow, mingling with that of Shinpachi and Kagura. The three of them are now a tangled mass of limbs and blankets, but even in his sleep, Gin holds the two of them tightly. Takasugi considers the sight, that suffocating warmth rising again in his chest.

The next morning, Kagura launches herself at Gin, sleepily shouting something about the Colonel and his legion of chickens, and Shinpachi has to frantically tear Sadaharu's jaws from Takasugi's head.

Despite the chaos, a lot of thoughts float through his mind as the snow falls silently past the window with Kagura's KFC bucket, but the overarching thought is this:

 _Maybe the holidays aren't so shitty after all_.

**Author's Note:**

> MERRY (NOT) CHRISTMAS HEELY!!!!!! I'm so so so so so sorry for being a shitty late santa but I'm a fucking idiot and didn't save my first draft correctly so I had to rewrite word for word :^) I hope it's still an ok present alskdfjgs
> 
> anyway I love u and I hope u had a merry chrysler u meme fuck


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